In which we have a guest blogger

Hello hello hello! Today we have another visitor to the Terrible Interviews blog - my friend "Jack." Say hello to Jack! Jack actually has TWO terrible interview stories to share, and they're both so good that I'm posting them one at a time.

Anyway - enjoy! And happy Thanksgiving!
Gobble gobble gobble gobble gobble gobble.

"Jack's" story:

I was interviewing once for a political job--my first out of college. I was bright-eyed and bushy tailed, with visions of earning money and working 40 hours a week and marrying my girlfriend.

(Note from [K]: Holy cats. If only every guy I met had the same visions. Sigh. Anyway...back to Jack.)

I get to the interview, where I am interviewed by two people.

[Interviewer #1]: "So...what is the LEAST amount of money you could live on?"

Me: Awkwardly smiling. And squirming. And adding things in my head like rent, food, gas. "Welp...probably $1,500 a month."

[Interviewer #1]: "Oh. Okay. We really don't have money to pay you."

Me: Still awkwardly smiling.

[Interviewer #1]: "The money you earn as a salary is money we can't spend on the candidates. With the money we spend on your salary, we could buy roadsigns, or pay for phone banks. E.g....if you're padding that number at all..."

Me, inwardly: And I am...

[Interviewer #1]: "You're putting Missouri's political future at risk."

[Interviewer #2]: "And how many hours can you work in a month? I mean, literally, how many hours?"

Me, awkwardly laughing and more squirming: "Oh! I don't know! Let me think here. Probably about...300."

Me, inwardly: Quickly performing calculations in my head - this means I'll earn $5 an hour. I've...never earned that little. Even when I was a sophomore in high school.

[Interviewer #1]: "And are you dating anyone?"

Me, inwardly: Good gracious. Where is this leading?

Me, for real: "Um, yes. I have a great girlfriend named [Jehosophat]. We've known each other for about 18 months now."

[Interviewer #2]: "Oh. Well, this job will probably break you up."

Me: Silence.

[Interviewer #2]: "Most people who've had this job before with a girlfriend usually don't make it. Its probably best if you start single."

Me: "Right! Perfect. Thanks! Makes sense!"

And then "Jack" got the hell out of there.