In which the interview is just terrible

Uggggh. This interview I'm about to describe was one of those interviews where it wasn't even all that funny, or unbelievable, or ridiculous. It was just...not good. An actual terrible interview. I may or may not have cried afterwards.

Alas, I will tell the story anyway. It is a short one.

I got a call OUT OF NOWHERE to come and interview for a political organization. And when I say out of nowhere, I mean OUT OF NOWHERE. The call went something like this:

Me: "Hello?"
[Caller]: "Hello, [K]?"
Me: "Yes?"
[Caller]: "This is [caller] calling from [political organization]."
Me: "Ah...well hello, there."
[Caller]: "I'm calling about the job opening?"
Me: "Oh! The...job opening?"
[Caller]: "Yes. We recieved your resume about the press opening?"
Me: "Erm...really?"
[Caller]: "Uh...yes?"
Me: "Erm...I mean...oh, THAT press opening! Um, yes! Great!"
[Caller]: "OK, great, we'd like you to come in tomorrow, I'll send you an email with more details - bye!"

Click.

WHAT?

Sooo...I had essentially no idea what I'm about to interview for, and did not want to appear like an idiot by saying, "erm, could you just...remind me what this job is again?" But thankfully the "email with more details" included, at least, a job title, from which I could somewhat infer what the job actually was.

It turned about to be a press job focusing on healthcare legislation. Hmmm.

Nevertheless, I was excited because YAY JOB INTERVIEW. I have virtually no healthcare experience, but I figured that this interview came about from one of the many wonderful wonderful friends of mine who have been passing my resume around to various people and places, and it sounded like a good job to me, so I studied studied studied up on healthcare issues and was raring to go. Besides, they wouldn't have called me if they didn't like my resume, right? Right!

I arrive at said political organization and meet with two men - one a nice, older gentleman who kindly pulls my chair out for me when I go to sit down; and one a younger, arrogant, beefy-looking jerkface. ASSHAT JERKFACE.

[Older Gentleman]: "Very pleased to me you!"

Me: "Thank you, it's nice to meet both of you! Thanks for having me!"

[Jerkface]: "Yeah."

Me, inwardly: Oh, boy.

[Jerkface]: "So what do you know about Wyoming?"

Me: "Pardon?"

[Jerkface]: "WHAT. DO. YOU. KNOW. ABOUT. WYOMING."

Me, inwardly: Oh. I forgot that there is a connection to Wyoming in this organzation. Although this job in particular has very little to do with Wyoming, I STILL RESEARCHED IT ANYWAY. SO THERE.

Me: "Oh, well let's see.." blah blah interesting facts about Wyoming and how it relates to said organization blah blah.

[Jerkface]: "Hmmm."

Me: Nervous silence.

[Older gentleman]: Smiles kindly.

[Jerkface]: "I see you worked in the energy sector."

Me: "Yes. I did indeed."

[Jerkface]: "Talk to me about energy."

Me, inwardly: Ugh. Once again...I know where this is going. EVERYONE THINKS THEY ARE A FREAKING ENERGY EXPERT JUST BECAUSE THEY SAW AL GORE'S POWERPOINT SLIDEHOW MOVIE. ARGH.

Me, for real: "Sure! I worked on..." blah blah energy blah.

[Jerkface]: "Mmm-hmmm. Well, you're not really selling me on this."

Me: "I...pardon?"

[Jerkface]: "You know this is a press job, right? You know that you have to be able to sell a story, right?"

Me: "Uh...yes."

[Jerkface]: "So, yeah."

Me: "Erm...I'm sorry, I wasn't...I should say, I was just describing what I worked on, I didn't realize you wanted me to pitch- "

[Jerkface]: "I see from your resume that you have no healthcare experience."

Me: "Erm. Yes, that is correct, but- "

[Jerkface]: "You know this position deals primarily with healthcare, right?"

Me: "Yes, I- "

[Jerkface]: "Why did you send your resume in if you don't have a healthcare background?"

Me: "Well, I - I didn't. You...you guys actually called me."

[Jerkface]: "I suppose you don't really understand how [political entity] works, either, since I can see that you haven't worked there previously?"

Me: "Well, not specifically in [political entity], but I worked in [similar political entity] and - "

[Jerkface]: "Yeah well it's different here."

Me: "Well...ok."

[Jerkface]: "OK yeah thanks for coming in."

Me: "Um...thanks."

End of interview. I cry on walk home. A little. OK maybe more than a little.

But honestly, to all of you jerkface interviewers out there, I AM JUST TRYING TO GET A JOB. Why must you be mean to me in interviews? WHY? WHYYYYYY. I do not see the point in being a jerkface. Am I INSULTING you somehow by coming in for an interview? Do you simply want to assert your smug superiority because you are employed and I am not?

Believe me, you DO NOT NEED TO HUMILIATE ME. I am already feeling COMPLETELY HUMILIATED and CANNOT BE KNOCKED DOWN ANY MORE PEGS THAN I ALREADY HAVE BEEN. I am OUT OF PEGS to be KNOCKED DOWN.

GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH.

In conclusion...if I ever run into Mr. Asshat Jerkface in a bar, I'm...I'm...going to get someone a lot bigger than me - and who's also a boy - to punch him in the face while I hide at the other end of the bar. So WATCH OUT.