In which I am terrified of my interviewer

OK, so, this story is actually from an interview that I had a few years ago. Even though I've gone on 1836403975 interviews this year and still have plenty of stories to share, this old one is pretty much begging to be blogged.

It takes place, yet again, in a newsroom.

This was your standard entry-level newsroom job - the kind that they tell you is sooooooo important and hard and nerve-wracking but in reality is just answering the phone and printing things.

First I meet with one of the bureau heads, a very nice lady, and everything goes well.

Then at the end of the interview, she says, "OK, now I'm going to bring in my colleague to ask you some final questions."

"OK, great!" I say.

"Now, I just want to warn you, she's a bit...aggressive," the nice lady says.

"Oh," I say. "Well, that's ok."

"Just try not to be intimidated," says the nice lady.

"Ah...sure."

Enter [PSYCHO LADY].

[PSYCHO LADY]: "Well, [K], is it?"

Me: "Yes, nice to meet you."

[PSYCHO LADY] sits on desk, folds her arms, and stares at me.

Me: Swallows nervously.

[PSYCHO LADY]: "Alright, let me ask you something. What would you do if a bomb went off outside?"

Me: "Erm. Pardon?"

[PSYCHO LADY]: "I asked you WHAT YOU WOULD DO IF A BOMB WENT OFF. OUTSIDE. RIGHT OUTSIDE."

Me: Unable to frame a response.

WTF? What...is she talking about? Does she mean...umm...would I stay if there were bombs exploding around me, or would I run for it like a normal person? Maybe she's asking whether I'd stay and report on the scene like a fearless journalist. That must be it.

Me: "Well, I'm sure we'd all be tempted to get away, but I would stay with the news team here, of course. It's our job to find out what's going on."

[PSYCHO LADY]: "Oh really? Really? Are you saying you wouldn't, oh, I don't know, CALL IN A CREW? You wouldn't think to do that? Really?"

Me: "Oh - oh! I'm sorry, I didn't realize what you meant exactly - "

[PSYCHO LADY]: "OK NEXT QUESTION."

Me: More nervous swallowing.

[PSYCHO LADY]: "Now let's say that we had a big medical story, like a disease outbreak, and we needed to get a doctor on the phone. And we knew the name of the doctor that we wanted, but we don't have a number for him."

Me: "OK."

[PSYCHO LADY]: "WHAT WOULD YOU DO? And you can't use the internet."

Me: "Erm...I'm sorry, um, why - why can't I use the internet?"

[PSYCHO LADY]: "BECAUSE IN MY DAY WE DIDN'T HAVE THE INTERNET. REAL REPORTING DOES NOT INCLUDE THE INTERNET. NOW WHAT WOULD YOU DO? OR ARE YOU INCAPABLE OF FINDING INFORMATION WITHOUT INTERNET ACCESS?"

Me: "OKAY. Alright, uh, well...since I, erm, can't use the internet..."

[PSYCHO LADY]: Stares daggers with her eyes.

Me: "Perhaps I'd tried calling the Mayo Clinic because I happen to have their number. And if this is a prominent doctor with a history of media appearances, they would probably be able to at least get me to his hospital or practice."

[PSYCHO LADY]: "Oh so you would call the Mayo Clinic but you wouldn't think to, I don't know, LOOK IN A PHONE BOOK? No phone book for you, huh?"

Me: "But...but, how would I know which city - "

[PSYCHO LADY]: "OK well we're obviously going to have to have you come in for a day and work so I can see what you've got."

Me: Sigh. "Great. That's...that'll be fun."

Then, I proceed to come in and work for a day, at the end of which [PSYCHO LADY] says, "well, I think you're going to need to come in again." So I go in and work another day. "Hmmm yeah well I'd like to have you come in again," says [PSYCHO LADY]. So I go in for a third day. Keep in mind that I am a) not being paid, and b) having to continously take off from the job I currently had this point so that I could keep coming in for "trial work days."

Then [PSYCHO LADY] wanted me to come in for A FOURTH DAY, at which point I put my foot down and said that I couldn't come in anymore, since I, you know, had another job.

And I never heard from them again.

Which turned out to be the best break ever, because I got a job in a much better newsroom the next week. Yay.

The end!