In which I am creepily asked about my dating status

Early on in my job search, I scored my first interview with a man who would, if I were hired, be my boss. The BIG boss. The boss of all the employees. (Not that there were many working for him, but the point is, he was the big cheese). I was interviewing for his main company, but he has this other side company also, and that's where he wanted me to come for the actual interview.

At night.

In an otherwise deserted shopping center. With empty, boarded-up storefronts.

In the middle of nowhere. I could hear coyotes howling nearby.

Also, I don't have a car. And all of the public transportation options I tried to find were all, "oh no WAY, we don't go that far out. Good luck, missy."

So I talked my wonderful friend Katie into driving me 45 miles away after work so that I could get to my first job interview. Poor Katie had had a horrible day of her own, but still agreed to drive my arse to a scary deserted shopping center while it got darker and darker outside.

Now, the man had said to me, "oh, I know it's after hours, but I'll be there and so will my office manager, and the building will still be unlocked, so you'll have no problem getting in." Those were, of course, all lies.

After pulling into the scary empty shopping center, I stood pulling at the locked door of the building while Katie sat in the car with the doors triple-locked. The door wouldn't budge. I pushed the call button next to the door. No one answered. I called the man to see if I was in the right place. No answer. Hmm.

This went on for about 20 minutes until a kindly gentleman who was leaving the building (unclear what he was doing in the nearly-deserted building in the first place, but whatever) let me in, and I finally made it upstairs and outside a second locked door leading to the seemingly empty office.

I called the man again...and again...and again. At this point, the interview was supposed to have started almost an hour ago. I finally got through to another employee, who told me that the man was on some kind of conference call and was supposedly driving over to the office now. Hooray. And then the office manager DID appear and let me in to the actual office. Double hooray.

The man FINALLY arrives and tells me he has to "take care of something" before the interview can start, and then disappears for another 20 minutes before reappearing looking extremely hassled and clutching his blackberry. I do not ask.

So, interview begins - approximately 80 minutes after I arrived. Also, Katie is still waiting in the car.

It soon becomes clear that this man is crazy. He is convinced that Twitter is "the future of the company" and that the reason the company hasn't had such a great year is due to the lack of adequate tweeting. At one point he mentions that if hired, I would be "the face" of the company. To which I replied, "oh, does that mean that you don't want to be a spokesperson?"

Man, looking at me like I've lost my mind: "Of course I'm the spokesperson. I AM the company."

Me: "Oh, I'm sorry, I guess I misunderstood - you would be the face, then?"

Man: "Excuse me? You are the face."

Me: "Ok...but not...but I wouldn't actually speak on behalf of...the company, then."

Man: "Well, you would do some interviews."

Me: "Oh, ok, so I would also be a spokesperson."

Man: "I AM THE SPOKESPERSON."

Me: "I...alright."

The man then mentions that they are looking to fill the position IMMEDIATELY, and also, that I would have to move. To another city. I'm ok with that, right? Like, perhaps I could start on Monday? That's IF I'm offered the job, of course, which hasn't been decided yet. But if offered, I could be in the new city on Monday, right?

Me: "Oh! Well...gosh, I mean, I would need to find a place to live, first."

Man: "You can't stay with a friend?"

Me: "Um, well, I would also have to figure out what to do with my current lease, here, and also, you know, move all of my stuff, and also I don't have a car. I would probably need a car. I'm, ha, you know, also a little hesitant to commit to moving right now, this city is sort of my home now and..."

Man: "Are you single?"

Me: "Erm...pardon?"

Man: "Are you single. Do you have a boyfriend?"

Me: "Um...ah, no, not...not right now."

Man: "Then there's nothing keeping you here then, huh?"

Me, inwardly: I...feel like I just took a bullet. Thank you.

Man: "There's a lot of single guys in [new city]."

Me: "Ha...ha...I'm...well, that's...good."

Man: "We'll find you someone. You won't be alone."

Me: "I...ok."

And thus ended the interview. Katie was thankfully still alive when I made it back to the scary parking lot and was the best sport ever about the whole thing.

A few days later I got a call from the man offering me the job, but due a hesitancy to move and numerous creepy feelings about the whole situation, I turned it down...at which point he got decidedly pissed and tried to bully me into taking it, but thankfully I stood my ground. "I've only been interviewing for a few weeks," I thought, "I'll have better options to choose from!"

HA. What an idiot I am.

It turns out, though, that the man ended up getting fired four months later, which means I would have been fired right along with him. So I would have given up my lease, moved to a new city of complete strangers, and STILL been unemployed.

But there WAS the promise of single men. Oh well.