Good evening, fellow internets.
So, we've had a setback here at Terrible Interviews - and by "setback," I mean that I did not get a job that I really, really wanted and really, really thought I was going to get. I know what you're thinking - doesn't that sort of thing happen, you know, ALL THE TIME? Isn't that, ah, the whole POINT of this blog?
Ah, well, yes. And you'd think after so many, you know, terrible interviews, that I would be used to this, but this time it CAUGHT ME OFF GUARD. For whatever reason, I kind of thought the whole thing was going to work out this time. To borrow from Bridget Jones (the book, not the movie - although I do like the movie, I highly recommend the book because OMG HILARIOUS) - it's like when you're walking alone at night and you kind of think someone's following you, but you know they're not really. And you kind of have a vague feeling that something bad MIGHT happen, but you don't really. But then they go and grab you around the neck and all of a sudden you didn't get the job.
Oh, Bridget. We understand each other so well, I think.
ANYWAY - what this DOES mean is that the TERRIBLE INTERVIEW STORIES WILL CONTINUE. Oh, yes. They will continue. Watch out, internets, because WE ARE BACK.
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Friday, February 26, 2010
In which I stick my hand in a jar of acid
Because I did not get the job.
Length of interview process for this particular job: 4 months
Number of initial applicants: 350
Number of finalists at the end: 4
Number of interviews I went on: 3
Number of times I was "unofficially" told I had this job "in the bag": 3
Number of days left hanging after final interview: 5
Method of rejection: email form letter.
I think, perhaps, this one goes beyond a "terrible" interview experience and lands squarely in the category of "devastating." I say that because I don't even have the heart to face-push anyone. Siiiiiiiiiigh.
Length of interview process for this particular job: 4 months
Number of initial applicants: 350
Number of finalists at the end: 4
Number of interviews I went on: 3
Number of times I was "unofficially" told I had this job "in the bag": 3
Number of days left hanging after final interview: 5
Method of rejection: email form letter.
I think, perhaps, this one goes beyond a "terrible" interview experience and lands squarely in the category of "devastating." I say that because I don't even have the heart to face-push anyone. Siiiiiiiiiigh.
Thursday, February 25, 2010
In which I am STILL waiting
Great Potential Job Offer Watch, Day Four.
Job offers: 0
Calls from job interviewer: 0
Number of times I have checked my phone for any missed calls: 947
Level of anxiety, on a scale of 1 to 10: 45,000
Amount of sea-salted kettle-cooked potato chips consumed in midst of anxiety: 1 bag.
Job offers: 0
Calls from job interviewer: 0
Number of times I have checked my phone for any missed calls: 947
Level of anxiety, on a scale of 1 to 10: 45,000
Amount of sea-salted kettle-cooked potato chips consumed in midst of anxiety: 1 bag.
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
In which I am still on pins and needles
We are now on Day Three of the Great Potential Job Offer Watch. In case you're just joining us, I thought I was going to hear about a super awesome job opportunity on Monday. And now it is Wednesday. And I have heard nothing.
Tick, tock. Tick, tock.
Tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock.
If this job has been offered to someone else, and they're taking THREE DAYS to decide whether or not they want to accept it, while the rest of us wait in anguish and would IMMEDIATELY LEAP at this job - rest assured that I will FIND that person and facepush them. And if you don't know what a facepush is, trust me - you don't want to be on the receiving end.
Tick, tock. Tick, tock.
Tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock.
If this job has been offered to someone else, and they're taking THREE DAYS to decide whether or not they want to accept it, while the rest of us wait in anguish and would IMMEDIATELY LEAP at this job - rest assured that I will FIND that person and facepush them. And if you don't know what a facepush is, trust me - you don't want to be on the receiving end.
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
In which I start throwing furniture
Not really. But I'm THIS CLOSE, internets. THIS CLOSE to throwing a chair across the room, crazy-rock-star-trashing-a-hotel-room-style, provided I have any upper-body strength, which I do not, but STILL.
I just had a third interview yesterday. Third. Interview. All at the same place. For one job. Three interviews now. All of my references were called. All of my references told me that it was pretty likely I was going to get this job. I got very excited. The third and final interview was fine. At the end of it, the interviewers were all, "well, we're going to make a decision today, and finally put an end to this long process!"
"HOORAY!!!" I said. "HUZZAH AND HURRAH!"
Then I went home and waited, clutching my phone.
And waited.
Aaaaaaaaaaaaand waited.
The phone rings! Oh. It's my brother.
Phone rings again!
Arrrrrrrrrgh. It's my other brother. I mean, hooray, brothers, but this is toying with my nerves.
And now...still nothing. No word whatsoever.
WHY? WHY? WHY tell me that you're going to make a decision on a SPECIFIC DAY and then NOT TELL ME ANYTHING AT ALL? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?
I just had a third interview yesterday. Third. Interview. All at the same place. For one job. Three interviews now. All of my references were called. All of my references told me that it was pretty likely I was going to get this job. I got very excited. The third and final interview was fine. At the end of it, the interviewers were all, "well, we're going to make a decision today, and finally put an end to this long process!"
"HOORAY!!!" I said. "HUZZAH AND HURRAH!"
Then I went home and waited, clutching my phone.
And waited.
Aaaaaaaaaaaaand waited.
The phone rings! Oh. It's my brother.
Phone rings again!
Arrrrrrrrrgh. It's my other brother. I mean, hooray, brothers, but this is toying with my nerves.
And now...still nothing. No word whatsoever.
WHY? WHY? WHY tell me that you're going to make a decision on a SPECIFIC DAY and then NOT TELL ME ANYTHING AT ALL? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?
Thursday, February 18, 2010
In which I'm not asked any questions
Hello, internets. Long time no post, no? Well, I've been sort of hesitant to post any stories of recent job interviews I've had because I MAY be close to ACTUALLY GETTING one of them. I know what you're thinking: "HA. FAT CHANCE, FRECKLES MCGEE." (Hah, I have, like, 4 freckles, but that's how Mike "The Situation" described the girl who was the "grenade" on this one episode of Jersey Shore and I thought it was funny and...anyway. Not that I watch it. Nope.)
Anyway, one of these said jobs is a job that I'm pretty sure I'm definitely NOT getting, so behold: the terrible interview story that came out of it.
So, it's yet another interview for yet another communications job at yet another semi-political organization. Yadda yadda yadda. I arrive for the interview.
Interview lady: "Hi, [K]. It's great to meet you. As you know, we're looking to fill this communications position. It's pretty standard - responding to media inquiries, a lot of writing, a lot of pitching, and some social media."
Me, inwardly: I am getting so, so tired of participating in this exact dialogue OVER AND OVER AGAIN, in INTERVIEW AFTER INTERVIEW. My life has somehow become a Groundhog Day-style cycle of job interviews. Ugh...OH MY GOSH. What if I'm IN Groundhog Day RIGHT NOW? I mean, what if what happened in the movie is HAPPENING TO ME RIGHT NOW IN REAL LIFE? I mean, it makes sense - all I do is go on job interviews, have the same inane conversation with every interviewer, and repeat the cycle 9000 times. I'M JUST LIVING THE SAME DAY OVER AND OVER. How did Bill Murray get out of this? He had to, like, change something, or fix something, or save someone, right? THINK. I think I last watched this movie sometime in the late 90s. I vaguely remember him ending up in jail...am I supposed to end up in jail? And then...I wake up with a job? That doesn't sound right. Hmmm. Must look into this.
Me, out loud, to interview lady: "That sounds great."
Interview lady: "Great."
Me: Smile expectantly.
Interview lady: "So."
Me: Still smiling expectantly.
Interview lady: "So...."
Long pause.
Me: "Oh! Uh...soooo..."
Interview lady: "Well...what do you want to know?"
Me: "Erm. Um...well, I guess - maybe if you could talk a little bit more about...uh, job specifics, that...that would be helpful."
Interview lady: "Actually, I think I covered it."
Me: "Oh! Um...well, that's great."
Interview lady: Staring at me.
Me: "Erm...well, I, er, think I would be a good fit, because..." blah blah my experience blah blah Groundhog Day conversation all over again blaaaaaaaaaah.
Interview lady: "Great."
Silence.
Me: Unsure of how to proceed.
Interview lady: Still silent.
Me: "Well...I guess that's...all, then."
Interview lady: "Great! Thanks for coming in."
Me: "Erm...sure. Um, thanks for having me."
The end.
Now, I'm no "hiring manager" or even "permanently employed," but generally the interviewer is supposed to ask the job seeker some questions, no? Whatever. I went home and had a beer.
Anyway, one of these said jobs is a job that I'm pretty sure I'm definitely NOT getting, so behold: the terrible interview story that came out of it.
So, it's yet another interview for yet another communications job at yet another semi-political organization. Yadda yadda yadda. I arrive for the interview.
Interview lady: "Hi, [K]. It's great to meet you. As you know, we're looking to fill this communications position. It's pretty standard - responding to media inquiries, a lot of writing, a lot of pitching, and some social media."
Me, inwardly: I am getting so, so tired of participating in this exact dialogue OVER AND OVER AGAIN, in INTERVIEW AFTER INTERVIEW. My life has somehow become a Groundhog Day-style cycle of job interviews. Ugh...OH MY GOSH. What if I'm IN Groundhog Day RIGHT NOW? I mean, what if what happened in the movie is HAPPENING TO ME RIGHT NOW IN REAL LIFE? I mean, it makes sense - all I do is go on job interviews, have the same inane conversation with every interviewer, and repeat the cycle 9000 times. I'M JUST LIVING THE SAME DAY OVER AND OVER. How did Bill Murray get out of this? He had to, like, change something, or fix something, or save someone, right? THINK. I think I last watched this movie sometime in the late 90s. I vaguely remember him ending up in jail...am I supposed to end up in jail? And then...I wake up with a job? That doesn't sound right. Hmmm. Must look into this.
Me, out loud, to interview lady: "That sounds great."
Interview lady: "Great."
Me: Smile expectantly.
Interview lady: "So."
Me: Still smiling expectantly.
Interview lady: "So...."
Long pause.
Me: "Oh! Uh...soooo..."
Interview lady: "Well...what do you want to know?"
Me: "Erm. Um...well, I guess - maybe if you could talk a little bit more about...uh, job specifics, that...that would be helpful."
Interview lady: "Actually, I think I covered it."
Me: "Oh! Um...well, that's great."
Interview lady: Staring at me.
Me: "Erm...well, I, er, think I would be a good fit, because..." blah blah my experience blah blah Groundhog Day conversation all over again blaaaaaaaaaah.
Interview lady: "Great."
Silence.
Me: Unsure of how to proceed.
Interview lady: Still silent.
Me: "Well...I guess that's...all, then."
Interview lady: "Great! Thanks for coming in."
Me: "Erm...sure. Um, thanks for having me."
The end.
Now, I'm no "hiring manager" or even "permanently employed," but generally the interviewer is supposed to ask the job seeker some questions, no? Whatever. I went home and had a beer.
Monday, February 8, 2010
In which half of my interviews are canceled
All right.
FIRST OF ALL, I hate snow.
SECOND OF ALL, I hate the SHEER PANIC that pervades the mid-Atlantic at the mere IDEA of snow before there is EVEN A FLAKE IN THE SKY.
THIRD OF ALL...half of my interviews were canceled, which means that my day of four interviews became my day of two interviews. Which means I braved traveling through the MASSIVE SNOW BLIZZARD THING for NOTHING. Well, not nothing, but still.
Shall I start from the beginning? OK.
Thursday evening:
"I have four interviews tomorrow!" I say to myself as I skip to the train station. "LA LA LA LA LA four interviews! AND it's not supposed to start really snowing until the AFTERNOON, so I will be able to get them all done in time! La la la!"
Thursday night:
Phone rings.
"Hi, [K]? This is [interview #1]. Just to be on the safe side, I think it's best if we cancel tomorrow."
Me: "Oh - really? It's - I mean, it hasn't actually, um, started snowing or anything, yet, and - "
[Interview #1]: "Well, I think we're closing early tomorrow, just to be on the safe side."
Me: "Oh. OK, well, that's - that should be - "
[Interview #1]: "We'll be in touch, ok? Great." Click.
Hmmm.
Friday morning:
Peer outside. No snow! Not one single flake.
"Hooray!" I yell, skipping downstairs and thoroughly annoying my roommates who are dragging themselves into work. "THREE INTERVIEWS STILL ON!"
Check email. See email from [interview #2].
"Hi, [K]. We're closing at noon today, so I'm going to have to cancel our interview. Sorry about that. Can we reschedule for three weeks from now?"
Stare disbelievingly at email. Begin typing.
"Hi [interviewer #2]! I could actually come in earlier this morning, if that's easier for you all, before you close?"
Hit send. Wait impatiently.
See response come through.
"Thanks for being flexible, but actually, since some of us live pretty far outside DC, we're just...not going to come in at all today."
Peer outside window again. Still complete absence of any kind of snow or snow-like material falling from sky.
Sigh. Type type type.
"Sure. OK. Well...see you in three weeks."
Sigh again.
Send email to [interview #3].
"Hi [interview #3], I just wanted to check in and make sure we'll still on for today. I know some businesses are closing early, so just let me know!"
Wait wait wait wait impatiently.
See response.
"Hi [K] - definitely still on. See you soon."
"YAY," I say, "at least SOMEONE hasn't COMPLETELY LOST THEIR HEADS."
Get ready to leave for [interview #3]. Check email one last time. See email from [interview #4] in inbox. Oh geez.
"Hi [K], I'm not sure what's going to happen with the snow, so I'd hate to have you come in today if we end up leaving early. Do you think we could reschedule for next week?"
Look outside again. NO SNOW. NOTHING AT ALL. NOTHING IS HAPPENING.
ALRIGHT. LISTEN, MID-ATLANTIC, I AM PUTTING MY FOOT DOWN. I AM FROM THE NORTH. AND IN THE NORTH, WE DO NOT FREAK OUT OVER THE SNOW UNTIL THERE IS ACTUALLY SNOW FALLING FROM THE SKY. FOR THE LOVE OF TACOS, LET'S STOP THE MADNESS.
Begin typing.
"Hi [interview #4] - well, I'm already in the city, so it's really not a problem for me to come to your offices early, and maybe we can at least meet before your offices close? I don't think it's really supposed to start snowing until late this afternoon, and the roads are fine right now, so...how about I come in early? This morning? Yes?"
SEND.
Wait. Drum fingers on countertop impatiently. Drum drum drum.
Response comes through inbox.
"Hi [K]. That sounds great. See you then."
SUCCESS.
So. I made it to two interviews, and neither were terrible, so yay. But I would like to note that I could EASILY have made it to ALL FOUR INTERVIEWS and EVERYONE would have had PLENTY OF TIME TO DRIVE HOME as the snow did not start sticking until LATE THAT AFTERNOON and I UNDERSTAND that there was eventually like THREE FEET OF SNOW dumped on DC but I STILL could have made it to my interviews and the fact that I did not has made me all SHOUTY. GAAAAAAAAAH.
FIRST OF ALL, I hate snow.
SECOND OF ALL, I hate the SHEER PANIC that pervades the mid-Atlantic at the mere IDEA of snow before there is EVEN A FLAKE IN THE SKY.
THIRD OF ALL...half of my interviews were canceled, which means that my day of four interviews became my day of two interviews. Which means I braved traveling through the MASSIVE SNOW BLIZZARD THING for NOTHING. Well, not nothing, but still.
Shall I start from the beginning? OK.
Thursday evening:
"I have four interviews tomorrow!" I say to myself as I skip to the train station. "LA LA LA LA LA four interviews! AND it's not supposed to start really snowing until the AFTERNOON, so I will be able to get them all done in time! La la la!"
Thursday night:
Phone rings.
"Hi, [K]? This is [interview #1]. Just to be on the safe side, I think it's best if we cancel tomorrow."
Me: "Oh - really? It's - I mean, it hasn't actually, um, started snowing or anything, yet, and - "
[Interview #1]: "Well, I think we're closing early tomorrow, just to be on the safe side."
Me: "Oh. OK, well, that's - that should be - "
[Interview #1]: "We'll be in touch, ok? Great." Click.
Hmmm.
Friday morning:
Peer outside. No snow! Not one single flake.
"Hooray!" I yell, skipping downstairs and thoroughly annoying my roommates who are dragging themselves into work. "THREE INTERVIEWS STILL ON!"
Check email. See email from [interview #2].
"Hi, [K]. We're closing at noon today, so I'm going to have to cancel our interview. Sorry about that. Can we reschedule for three weeks from now?"
Stare disbelievingly at email. Begin typing.
"Hi [interviewer #2]! I could actually come in earlier this morning, if that's easier for you all, before you close?"
Hit send. Wait impatiently.
See response come through.
"Thanks for being flexible, but actually, since some of us live pretty far outside DC, we're just...not going to come in at all today."
Peer outside window again. Still complete absence of any kind of snow or snow-like material falling from sky.
Sigh. Type type type.
"Sure. OK. Well...see you in three weeks."
Sigh again.
Send email to [interview #3].
"Hi [interview #3], I just wanted to check in and make sure we'll still on for today. I know some businesses are closing early, so just let me know!"
Wait wait wait wait impatiently.
See response.
"Hi [K] - definitely still on. See you soon."
"YAY," I say, "at least SOMEONE hasn't COMPLETELY LOST THEIR HEADS."
Get ready to leave for [interview #3]. Check email one last time. See email from [interview #4] in inbox. Oh geez.
"Hi [K], I'm not sure what's going to happen with the snow, so I'd hate to have you come in today if we end up leaving early. Do you think we could reschedule for next week?"
Look outside again. NO SNOW. NOTHING AT ALL. NOTHING IS HAPPENING.
ALRIGHT. LISTEN, MID-ATLANTIC, I AM PUTTING MY FOOT DOWN. I AM FROM THE NORTH. AND IN THE NORTH, WE DO NOT FREAK OUT OVER THE SNOW UNTIL THERE IS ACTUALLY SNOW FALLING FROM THE SKY. FOR THE LOVE OF TACOS, LET'S STOP THE MADNESS.
Begin typing.
"Hi [interview #4] - well, I'm already in the city, so it's really not a problem for me to come to your offices early, and maybe we can at least meet before your offices close? I don't think it's really supposed to start snowing until late this afternoon, and the roads are fine right now, so...how about I come in early? This morning? Yes?"
SEND.
Wait. Drum fingers on countertop impatiently. Drum drum drum.
Response comes through inbox.
"Hi [K]. That sounds great. See you then."
SUCCESS.
So. I made it to two interviews, and neither were terrible, so yay. But I would like to note that I could EASILY have made it to ALL FOUR INTERVIEWS and EVERYONE would have had PLENTY OF TIME TO DRIVE HOME as the snow did not start sticking until LATE THAT AFTERNOON and I UNDERSTAND that there was eventually like THREE FEET OF SNOW dumped on DC but I STILL could have made it to my interviews and the fact that I did not has made me all SHOUTY. GAAAAAAAAAH.
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