In which I need to change my hairstyle

Ooooh, this interview is one of my most favorites. I don't even know if I can call it terrible because it was just...so...ridiculous.

I got a call to come interview for a publicity job at a national television show. It's not a show that I watch, er, regularly, but it's a cool show and sounded like an awesome job nonetheless.

So. I'm just going to jump right in.

[Interviewer], walking me into a conference room: "Now, I'm not really into this formal interview bullshit, so we're just going to go in and relax and shoot the shit. OK?"

Me: "Oh! Um, ha, sure, sounds great."

[Interviewer]: "So, tell me your story."

Me: "My...story?"

[Interviewer]: "You know. Your STORY. Where you grew up, siblings, family, what you do for fun."

Me: "Oh...got it."

I tell him my "story," which is not that interesting, so I'll spare you that.

[Interviewer]: "OK."

Me: "Yes."

[Interviewer]: "How do you feel about working with difficult people?"

Me: "Erm."

[Interviewer]: Looks expectantly at me.

Me: "Well...ah...well, I have definitely worked with difficult people in the past."

[Interviewer]: "Well good because you CANNOT be sensitive in this job. You have to be able to take shit. Because [famous host of television show] can be a real prick."

Me: "I...what?"

[Interviewer]: "Yeah. A prick. You really need to be able to handle working with a prick."

Me: "All..alright."

[Interviewer]: "I mean not always. But a lot of the time. Or most of the time. He's just - you know - a prick."

Me, inwardly: Could you...please stop using the work 'prick'? Because, awkward.

[Interviewer]: "Like one time, we were in a meeting and my legs were crossed like this..."

Crosses legs.

[Interviewer]: "And up until that point, I had worn short socks with my pants. You know? Like when I crossed my legs, you could see the skin between the top of my socks and the edge of my pants. See?"

Pulls up pant leg to reveal his large, pulled-up-really-high socks.

[Interviewer]: "Now I wear socks that pull up high, but at the time I was wearing, like, ankle socks. And so when I crossed my legs, you saw all of this hairy skin."

Gestures to hairy leg skin.

Me: Stunned silence.

[Interviewer]: "Anyway, after the meeting [famous host] told me that I needed to buy proper socks and stop embarassing myself and him."

Me: Continuned stunned silence.

[Interviewer]: "So now I know. Right?"

Me, clearing throat in attempt to find voice again: "Erm...right."

[Interviewer]: "So [famous host] is probably going to tell you things you don't want to hear. For example, I'm looking at your hair."

Me: "My...my hair?"

[Interviewer]: "It's down. It's not pulled back."

Me: "Ah..yes."

[Interviewer]: "It's a little distracting."

Me: "Oh. Um...oh."

[Interviewer]: "I might say you need to change your hairstyle."

Me: "Erm..."

[Interviewer]: "How would you feel about that?"

Me: "I...that's..."

[Interviewer]: Silence.

Me: "I...well...I - I'm sorry, are you saying...is there..something wrong with my hair?"

[Interviewer]: "I'm saying that's the kind of thing that [famous host] is going to say and you need to be able to take it."

Me: "Well, I...I mean, I guess I've heard worse, so that's...that's fine."

[Interviewer]: "I mean, you say that now, but YOU HAVE GOT to be able to handle it. The guy that had this job last - he worked on this show for seven years. SEVEN. YEARS. Two months ago, he started in this job, and he ended up quitting the whole show."

Me: "Ah, that's...yikes."

[Interviewer] "He couldn't hack it."

Me: "He...really?"

[Interviewer]: "Yeah. Just couldn't handle [famous host] being a prick."

Me: "I...I see."

[Interviewer]: "Seven years at the show, and he didn't last a month in this job."

Me: Swallows nervously.

[Interviewer]: "Alright. So we'll be in touch, ok?"

Me: "Erm...yes. Ok."


Yikes.


Anyway, I ended up getting a very nice rejection email from this interviewer, and I sincerely hope that whoever did get the job remembers to pull her hair back.